It's for our kids best?

I have - frustratingly - lost my notebook that I used to capture the thoughts of Sally who shared with us moms last month. So will have to write from memory.

Sally is a mother of 4 beautiful kids; ages ranging from just-starting-school to just-starting-teens. Sally and her husband have been deeply moved by Jesus' love for them and for this world. This has birthed in them, and Sally in particular, deeply compassionate hearts. Add to that a strong ability to reflect and discern; as well as a willingness to think differently, and to step out of the comfortable places to walk in obedience and faith. And what do you have is a really inspiring mom who is intentional about raising her kids to love others.

I will share with you what struck me as she related her parenting journey and learnings. Please - if you were present - feel free to add more.

Sally rightly points out that our time and finances are finite. If we allocate all our time and finances to ourselves, then it will be really hard - if not impossible - to be generous. If being generous is your value, it is helpful to really think through your budget and make sure you are not allocating every cent. That way you have some money to give. This doesn't seem like rocket science does it. No. But what really hit me, is that the biggest reason why we allocate all our money is because we are motivated by the strong driving force "it is for my kids best". It is for my kids best to get them into a good school and it is for their best to have extramural activities like playing the oboe or flute, it is for my kids best to get extra sports lessons, it is for my kids best to have the latest gadget... So she and her husband have had to really look at this phrase "it is for my kids best" and turn it over and really see if everything that is offered under this label is just that - the best for their children.

So they decided that their kids just go to one extramural that is included in their school fees. Paying for more activities over and above that is just not possible for them - not if they want to share, not if they want to be able to respond to those in need, not if they want to be open to being prompted by the Holy Spirit to give.

And so it is with time. Sally shares that their deicsion to limit extramural activities has also created breathing space with regards to time. Time to be spontaneous to show love & care to those around them. Sally has found if your time is all carved out with playdates, school and extramurals and homework - there is just no time to respond with compassion to those who God brings across your path. Because you are always in a rush, you are needing to be at the next thing that is "for the best of your kids" and so you can't stop, you can't bring that supper, or go build a Habitat house with your kids, or visit the poor, or or or ... respond in the way God is calling you to bring light.

Sally's challenge to us was not that we should stay away from extramurals or playdates, but to know that if we allocate all our time and resources, we will have none to give away. And we will find ourselves living a life that is separate to our heart and our values.

She also called us to see through the big label of ITS FOR MY KIDS BEST. Let God show us what is for our kids best, not the world around us.