Christmas Time

There seems to be a need to do some hard work to walk upstream over the Christmas season, the tide of materialism flows strong, family expectations - some good, some bad - push in on us, and on top of that everyone makes plans for end of year parties. Sometimes it feels like you are caught in the turning and tumbling of a rapid or maybe even a waterfall. Our conversation this month focussed on Christmas, and how we can be intentional about Jesus, and about weaving into the glorious, and not so glorious, craziness of the silly season, the values of social justice - compassion, generosity and the like.

So watch this space as I share with you some of our thoughts in a series of blog posts over the next couple of days. May it strengthen you to find your feet in the river, and walk up the stream, pursing Kingdom values in your family over the month of December.

And if you are on Facebook, make sure you join our Moms 4 Justice group where those of us who were at the meeting have committed ourselves to inspiring each other during the Advent Season. Each day one of us will post some reflective thoughts or verses that can help us all focus on the real meaning of Christmas, or inspire us to pursue social justice in this season of festivity, or something that we can say or do with our kids that will help them better understand Jesus and Christmas.

Follow this link to go to the facbook group of Moms4Justice

Our everyday interactions

It is good to catch a breath, and think back on how you have been travelling along the journey that you are on. That is what we did in our last Moms 4 Justice gathering. No agenda. Just time to reflect on how we were doing as moms grappling with rearing our children in a way that helps them catch the heart of social justice.

As we shared where we were at...a clear theme emerged. How do we engage with our domestic workers and nannies in a way that honours Jesus, and shows our children that they are valuable human beings. One shared how saddened she felt when she walks her nanny out to the gate to say good bye, and neighbours will greet her but not the nanny. It is almost as though they don't see the nanny, as if she is not really there. How does nanny feel about this? And what message is being shared to the children? It is so special when you go to someone's home and your hostess welcomes you and introduces you to the nanny/domestic worker as though they are an important part of the family. Recognising their value, not just viewing them as invisible hired help.

How do you build an authentic friendship with your nanny/domestic worker? This is not easy given the history of our country and also the way people of different racial groups view each other. Add to that the employer-employee dynamic where you have power in that you pay salary. But there is another  inequality in the relationship, that makes friendship a challenge - it is the fact that your domestic worker knows so much about you...what your home looks like when it is a mess, how you react with your kids in your most strained moments and more. And yet you know precious little about her, unless she chooses to share. There are many real challenges that may undermine our friendships with our workers.

Yet we know these friendship are possible. Whilst some in the group have grown up in households where the domestic was treated as a second-class person - with separate ablutions, given separate plates to eat off, and unjustly suspected of theft; some have fond memories of nannies who have become "part of the family". One mother shared how her son's nanny had helped to raise her when she was small. This nanny has been working for the family for years. She totally trusts her son's life to this lady, who she knows loves her son as her own. So much so that during a time of crisis earlier this year, when her nanny had to return to her own house urgently, this mother allowed the nanny to take her son with her to Gugulethu - fully trusting that the nanny would never let anything happen to her boy. And nothing did.  

So whilst we all acknowledged the hurdles, most of us expressed a real desire to pursue social justice in our engaging with our workers. I think we may need to discuss this again, looking at some practical steps to help us in crossing this cross-cultural and cross economic divide right here in our own homes.

On a similar theme, another mom mentioned how she is very conscious of how she engages with the car guards at shops. She recognises them as men who have made an effort to get up in the morning, and take responsibility for watching over other people's cars. She knows that they would most likely wish they were doing some other work. Given the unemployment rate, the chance of find work are so slim. They could have chosen to be involved in crime but here they are, wearing their uniforms, greeting people, helping with heavy parcels and clearing away the trolleys. The least we can do is to look them in the eye and thank them. Something feels very wrong as one watches people who leave the shop, and rather begrudgingly allow the car guard to push their trolly to their car, put the parcels in the boot - without acknowledging their existence, without greeting or thanking or sometimes without even looking at them. What are we teaching our children about other people if that is how we respond to those who are seemingly unimportant.

So social justice isn't only about breaking down the massive walls of racism, poverty and inequality or about only about challenging government policy or society's thinking - it is about our every day interactions with everyday people.